As I scanned the online menu of the downtown Athens diner Clocked!, there was one thing for certain: I was ordering a burger. I haven’t had one in ages and it helps that the majority of the menu is chock full of them. But also, you can’t really go wrong with a burger. It’s one of the linchpins of American dining, and I’m never unsatisfied after consuming a shapely piece of beef topped with a slice of cheese inside a bun. That’s the problem, though — it’s just meat and cheese on a bun. Kind of boring, right? That’s where Clocked! comes in with its wide variety of toppings and condiments that can make you wonder what you’ve been doing wrong for all those years.
This wasn’t my first time eating at Clocked! though. The last time I ate it was around Easter 2018, when my aunt, uncle and cousins from Louisville, Kentucky, popped into town on their way through to Florida for a short vacation. I remember it was a beautiful day and we sat at some picnic tables outside the compact diner which is stuffed into a strip of stores and venues like Athens mainstays the 40 Watt Club and Flicker Theatre & Bar. With my bland burger in hand, I enjoyed having those typical conversations during a meal at a restaurant and being served my food as soon as it was ready — things that are hard to come by these days. It should be noted that Clocked! allows in-person dining at those same picnic tables, but I think I’ll just stick to my couch until I feel comfortable eating out. Still, ordering from the comfort of my own apartment and having a delivery driver (aka my brother Tony who never lends me the car) bring me my food is a luxury some people don’t have. But as soon as I sat down to eat my food, something felt off. The meal left me wishing I could feel safe enough to go out and eat at a restaurant.
That’s not to say the food wasn’t delicious. After a long track record of ordering unimaginative burgers, I decided to take a chance with one of the many burgers on Clocked!’s daring menu. It didn’t backfire. The Bronco! Burger featured an onion ring, a topping I’ve never had before, gouda cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions and the house BBQ sauce. I was altogether proud of myself for taking a risk when ordering my dinner for once and pleased with the taste of the meaty creation. The contrast with the crispiness of the fried onion ring and the chewiness of the bun, the 100% all-natural, humanely raised beef patty and the toppings were perfect. Add in the tiny bit of kick from the BBQ sauce and that’s a burger worth ordering again. Still, something was a bit off with the whole experience. The fries were a little bit cold and a few were unsalvageable, my milkshake had no straw (Tony gets no tip for his fateful mistake) and there was no one around to talk about the experience and to enjoy the atmosphere. That’s not the restaurant’s fault though, we’re both just making do with the hands we’ve been dealt.
The takeout experience is far from perfect. The food can get cold by the time it gets to your door, you have to tolerate a potential inaccuracy with your order and you don’t get to have those normal in-house dining interactions with those around you. With those in mind and a whole lot more, getting takeout from a local business like Clocked! and its adventurous assortment of menu items sure as hell beats eating a frozen pizza, Chick-fil-A or whatever makeshift dinner for the third day in a row.
Andrew Walsh 